Needing and Wanting

The spring clothing catalogs and the recent onslaught of t.v. and print Easter ads have gotten to me. I have suddenly felt lacking.

- Need a hair cut and styling - it's been four months since my last one
- Desperately need new glasses - my current ones are going on six years old (outdated and worn)
- Haven't gone clothes shopping in years - everything in my wardrobe seems tired, baggy and old
- Will need a pedicure when I start wearing open toed shoes again - my last one was six months ago
- Only "vacation" in seven years was five days in Michigan

Maybe it is just that it is springtime again when we all feel as though we want to be renewed and refreshed. Just to add a little perk up to our wardrobes and lives. To be eagerly planning a trip somewhere to see new sights and unwind.

The boys are complaining that they have outgrown all their shorts from last spring/summer. I won't have any available funds to go to Plato's Closet with them until May 1st so we all have to hold out until then.

I know my feelings of want will dissipate eventually. The first focus is to get the boys what they need. My poor oldest has hot glued the sole of one of his volleyball shoes and I looked at him play last week relieved that it was holding up because I don't have the funds for shoes right now either.

Owe -

- $349.00 to H & R Block for tax preparation
- Two sets of car insurance are due on the 15th and it'll be a very tight squeeze to make them both - I might have to call my agent and see if there is any way to postpone one payment until the 20th when I'll be paid again
- Prom is at the end of the month and I'll need to get a wrist corsage for my son's girlfriend and tux rental for him

I look at the list of items I wish for. Most are needs I think (haircut, pedicure during the summer months, clothes for the boys, prom stuff). Or is a haircut or pedicure really essential? I mean they make us feel more presentable and attractive but polish on my toes isn't a requirement. I suppose as long as we have food, shelter and clothing of some sort everything else is unnecessary. But if that is the case then no one would be buying anything such as Easter candy, backyard pools, magazines at the checkout counter, cosmetics, energy drinks, and so on. What is it when you have a huge craving for cheap Chinese takeout from someplace you know and love? If there are leftovers in the fridge does that mean the dinner treat is a no go? Gosh, would I like to go on a vacation someplace, anyplace. Not necessary in anyone's life but what a difference a few days away with some pampering can do!

Since having to struggle financially the past two years, I contemplate these questions. We certainly go without far more than treating ourselves. Where do you draw the line between needs and wants? Maybe it is a balance between being more aware and conscious about the buying decisions we make in our lives. The other day, I reluctantly picked up Taco Bell for dinner. It was 7:00 p.m., I was tired and still on the road. I picked the cheapest fast food place out there and accepted that what I'd planned to make that night would wait until the next day. I was in a bind and had to rely on a quick fix out.

In my old life, I wouldn't have given a second thought to picking up a fast food dinner. And I treated myself to a manicure, pedicure and hair coloring every month at the salon, going in at the two-week mark for a polish touch-up. And every season I'd make a trip to Talbot's to update my wardrobe. Now that's one way of life vs. how we're living now where I weigh every purchase!

I can do without new clothes myself now but it doesn't stop me from looking through the L.L. Bean catalog and spying a cute outfit that catches my attention and then wanting it. Prioritizing will mean that I'll get myself new glasses first because those are worn everyday and a new pair would really give me a lift. In the meantime, I'll keep doing without where I can. There isn't another option. When there's nothing extra, there's nothing extra. So a haircut has to wait until May as with the pedicure. It is hard waiting but I know next month I'll be so grateful for them I'll be on cloud nine!